sectioning just (barely) began with jen (histospring technician) testing a test block.
didn't write much lately because there's a lack of things to write about.
would keep tabs on when sectioning ends (i need estimate) and get staining plan out of the way and push toward results.
- sam strickberger recently reached out to me. prob for more info fishing. mixed feelings about that. won't disclose much.
- just connected to lada nuzhna on linkedin, she saw my invite note, yet to respond. no pressure, just want to get to know her and perhaps befriend her if im lucky, and my brain is less cooked?
- getting help from psychologist and later psychiatry referred by william. my brain has been cooked more and more often lately. i need help. im far away from my prime. but at least i need to get back to mid level thinking, and not continue ruining it. i need my brain, more than the startup. even if it's for the startup.
- letao introduced me to frank, new potential lawyer for IP (if results of PoC is fruitful).
- sosv path very likely to be dead. they ghosted me twice and doesn't follow up. im looking at amplify. cory levy (z) knows them. and baylor adams still keeping tabs (a welcoming gesture, but i need warmer than that at least after PoC results are good).
- met alan cai, fellow amherst freshman and startup larper. told him FALC (fully automated luxury communism) is good and highly plausible and he just nods. then he doenst know what yc is. and i say yc is bad and he nods, then ask why. i then say "look at their portfolios." he says "wdym." smh smh. told dan about this and he just says "larp til you made it." thinking back i did do smth similar in front of sun (on biology front), but i don't like doing that in retrospect. and i replied dan with "there are good and bad larpers, and you know which one they are if you know ball."
ig the PoC is still going, however slowly (william advised not to rush, put it aside and truly recover, prayed that i listen to him for once, and i shall try). had a weird and overly dramatic dream yesterday night about alex and stone (from bnta) and a group of ppl i forgot after waking up, and me as an accomplice stealing smth from a powerful educational + political AIO institution and i was not exposed as involved. they proudly walked into the massive 75% auditorium (like a courtroom) and sat the fuck down. stone is fat (irl and dream) so his sit down was the loudest. looked like a trial. very interesting. noting this down in case i need some inspirations from weird conglomerations of imaginations from dreams.
my problem with brain fry is still massively due to and continues (varies in intensity in different times of week/day) due to stress over the project. when can my heart actually listens to my brain and think rationally, letting the mind to instruct the body that... "平常心对待，一切的可能性太多的，你选择的最佳选择几率本身就非常低，而且‘最佳’的‘最佳性’的几率未知，也未定。" if my body follows this rule, i will truly start recovering, not for now, but forever. ig that's an optimist or growth mindset.
also lately obsessed w/ (ranking in descending order) elden ring and battlefront 2, watched lotr trilogy, played abit of cyberpunk and jedi survivor (will prob put them on hold for ER and bf2). also replayed lifeline (never knew there was an epilogue to this iOS text game.
ig im in a semi-chill waiting + recover era? c'mon future evan, if you stop crashing out, you will escape the great neck south high prophecy of you being the biggest "academic crashout." you, as a nerd, crashes out. this is me writing when my mind is clear. the moment you are mumbling, is becuase you are not getting help, you are not helping yourself, and you are just helpless in general. don't do that. you have a strand of white hair already. look at bevel's 43% confidence at your biological age being 3.8 years (ish) older than your birth age.
the ability to combat stress, is the single variable that will either turn you into a terminally ill madman, or a biotech founder who will change the face of longevity space. your choice old man. be young again.