what else can i say?
you had a good run soldier. and you will be missed.
80.
i had a dream last night that consisted of three nightmares: getting confirmed that i got into thiel only to wake up twice to realize the real life is the limbo and that the dream was the utopia. i woke up when both sam's are asleep but i needed to sleep because i had to be up for my third meeting with letao at 7 am. and then i dreamt of maxx, tricking me to a roundtable dinner at a chinese restaurant, and i was surrounded by enemies. there was no ally or friend, or any family member in sight. i woke up again, feared to fall asleep but also feared to not have enough sleep. and i woke up once again at 6:40 with two alarms and i waited for letao for an hour without her response and went back to sleep from 8 to 10. and when i woke up at 10, i saw letao's message about her wifi not working properly and i had to call her over phone. which i did. for an hour. and without breakfast i went to cinema class. my heart pounding. everything seems structured and fine. i have built a sequencial scaffold. why am i panicking. to that i don't know. but the worrying itself, about everything at its current state, could be the single worst weakness of mine.