i feel like my brain has been on overdrive but nothing is feeding it. a stomach that wants to churn food but there's nothing to churn besides itself. and so it grind itself down because it was on high alert all the time with no breaks, yet there's nothing to really act on. histospring is a fucking disappointment. which makes me a fucking disappointment because i found the wrong solution, and i stopped looking for better solutions because i don't know why, maybe i was worrying without trying to find a good solution and act upon it. or it's a false hope that histospring can actually deliver, or maybe that statement, that they can help me, is still true. in any words, i have forgotten almost everything about this project besides the main thesis, because i haven't been thinking about it for so long. i haven't been actually "working" since end of march. FOR FUCK SAKE. and now im depressed. purposeless.